December 26, 2025- This broken model of personal growth

It is only when the correct practice is followed for a long time, without interruptions, and with a quality of positive attitude and eagerness, that it can succeed.

~Patanjali

Our feelings matter. Many of the changes we attempt to bring about in our lives are executed in a spirit of punishment for our perceived lack of perfection. We seem to think it is beneficial to bring about change by all means necessary. This doesn’t work, as it is unsustainable.

The behaviors we would like to nurture must be accompanied by a “positive attitude and eagerness.“ We must envision the person we would like to become, and then celebrate and admire every behavior that aligns with that vision. We must chase the carrot more than we avoid the stick. We can’t live our entire lives, shaming and admonishing ourselves for our faults. We will come to obsess over those faults, as recurring thoughts of them make us even more likely to repeat the behaviors we wish to avoid.

We must move away from this broken model of personal growth. We must become the student who wishes to learn, not the one who wants to avoid the red marks on their work. We must become the lover who wants to build connections, not the one who wishes to avoid the pain of loss or rejection. We must become the being who chases their dreams, not the one who runs away from their nightmares.

Can you nurture yourself today? Can you value the qualities that are already present in you? Can you cultivate the change you would like to see through self love?