May 17, 2025- Stop screwing up

“The best way to reduce stress in your life is to stop screwing up.”

~Roy Baumeister

Stress is a catalyst for growth. Stress can give our bodies and our minds the little nudge they need to adapt. So do we really want to limit our stress? Yes we do.

The stress we want to limit is the stress we place on ourselves unnecessarily. Generally, that comes in two forms: First, we experience unnecessary stress by reacting to circumstances more harshly than the circumstances warrant. Second, we allow ourselves to make the same mistakes repeatedly, without changing our behaviors.

There is an age-old metaphor when it comes to discussions of mental calm and clarity of "having a mind like water." We imagine the flat, smooth surface of a body of water that is still. Suddenly, someone throws something into that water. The wave created by that object is directly proportional to the size of the disturbance – no more, no less. Then, once the disturbance is over, the water goes right back to being flat. We can reduce our stress by having minds like water.

We can also reduce our stress by not screwing up. Of course, we are human, we are flawed, and we will make mistakes. But do we really need to make the same mistakes repeatedly? Can’t we reflect on our actions and learn from them? Can’t we adjust our behaviors to adjust our results? Can’t we grow into a better version of ourselves?