October 4, 2026- Greater space to search for ourselves

I was walking along looking for somebody, and suddenly I wasn’t anymore.

~AA Milne

At some point, we have to realize that everything we need is already right here inside us. We are socialized not to believe that. Humans are born completely unable to take care of themselves. We need to rely on others just to survive those first few years. If we aren’t careful, those few years stretch into decades, and we spend our entire lives waiting for someone to come change our diapers every time we cry.

When we stop being an infant, we stop being reliant on others to meet our needs. Then, we can stop looking for significant others to “complete us.” We can understand and accept the fact that we already are complete, just as we are. That doesn’t make connection any less important and fulfilling, but it does move us to a place of want and away from a place of need. It helps us avoid those codependent bonds that many of us find ourselves in. It allows us to spend less time and energy searching for “the one” and allows us greater space to search for ourselves.

Let’s nurture and cherish the relationships we have, but let’s not ignore the relationships we have with ourselves. Let’s seek the people who complement, not complete us. Let’s expose a continuously better version of ourselves, one choice at a time, with or without others.