October 26, 2025- Standing out and fitting in

To be a hero, you have to learn to be a deviant – because you’re always going against the conformity of the group.

~Philip Zimbardo

There are plenty of times in our lives that we just want to fit in. We want to blend into our community without standing out, to avoid being noticed, to simply live our lives without feeling like we are under the constant scrutiny of everyone else’s watchful and judgmental eyes.

At the end of the day, at the exact same time, we want to feel special. We want to matter. We want to feel like we would be missed if we were gone.

We must live our whole lives playing that game of tug-of-war. In what ways do we need to be conventional? What aspects of our lives must be dictated by societal norms to allow us to function within our community? Also, what chances do we have to break away from conformity, to be different and special? If we conform too often, what is our individual purpose for being? If we are constantly marching to the beat of our own drum, will anyone want us in their band?

We fit our own uniqueness inside of convention all the time. This very essay uses conventional language rules to express somewhat original thoughts. Be authentic, while respecting the fact that you are one of many, taking turns standing out and fitting in.